Now that I was beginning to establish an identity to my own satisfaction at school, I had the edge over my younger brothers. There was no way that either of them could be said to be matching up to the standards I had set in schoolboy achievements, and they were aware of this. I was definitely the elder brother, but a benevolent one who was probably well respected at that time by each of them. In all events there was little evidence of any quarrelling.

I think it may be true to say that Valentine was going through a bit of an identity crisis, without anyone in the family having much of an idea about what was going on inside his head. It may have been partly due to the fact that Chris was beginning to look elsewhere for his companionship, so that Val suddenly felt abandoned - because none of the rest of us were much concerned to seek out his company. Nor was much sympathy on offer to him. Indeed, Daphne was inclined to make jokes about the way he appeared to be trying to revert to the womb, lying curled up for lengthy periods beneath an arm-chair - or such places. And he was continually taking hot baths; often as many as three or four in a day. He was also becoming curiously reserved, and day-dreamy.

With regard to my relationship with Caroline, the situation was uncertain and awkward. Yet despite the fact of us having very little contact nowadays, she had warm feelings for me - even if it was more for her memory of the devoted servant that I once had been, than for the energetic adolescent who was now emerging. I don't think she ever really assessed just how well I was doing as a schoolboy. I know that her reaction, on hearing how many Credits and Distinctions I had acquired in my School Certificate, was to look at me a trifle quizzically and murmur: "It just shows what a good school Eton must be." I had never doubted that Caroline was my intellectual equal, but I would have liked it if she could have appreciated just how much better this performance was than her own had been. Her own educational excellence related far more to her extra curriculum studies, in that she was quite well read in English literature, and was way ahead of the rest of our family in her appreciation of art.

Her romantic life in London was focused largely around the person of David Somerset, and he sometimes came down to Sturford over a week-end. He was there shortly after Longleat had been thrown open to the public, and I can remember Caroline obliging him to drive through the car-park so that he could tip me - when he hadn't even left his car there. And he displayed a sort of benevolent bonhomie towards all of us boys, such as might be anticipated in a future brother-in-law.

But Caroline's attitude towards me was nowadays more in the line of trotting me out in display of my better nature. He who had once been designated the rôle of Grumpy, was expected to perform tricks that would enhance the aura of Snow White - as she who could melt the most recalcitrant of hearts. And there is one particular memory which comes to mind.

It was during a week-end party during which we were putting up guests for the ball that was being held at Radnor Castle. The whole bunch of them were sitting in the drawing-room when Caroline called out to me, with an amiable smile, that she had left her cardigan next door in the dining-room, and could I go and fetch it for her? Both of us knew instantly that she was transgressing her rights, and each of us now stood to lose face on the issue of whether, or not, I saw fit to do her bidding. I had no wish to make her lose face, but at the same time I resented that she was displaying me as too subservient for my own self-esteem. I did go and fetch the cardigan, but threw it down brusquely in her lap. And there was a ripple of laughter as one of the guests remarked: "Well I can see that request didn't go down very well!" And I knew in my heart that Caroline had digested the message, and would in future be more careful of abusing her status within the family.

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