series2bk6.104

 

I flounder in my inability to determine the person who'll emerge from the present pupa, where I'm falling dormant till the war's end - unready to defend my speckled record (but valid talents) until it's won. I've begun already to think in terms of a rapid separation from the comforts that entrap me, to find some kind of company that reflects a wider world than my earlier life involved - or perhaps alone? I've grown too dependent on inessential incentives for instant success, and I may do better when I've let my personality take its shape - escaping from a father's influence, and that of friends.      It's like a plant whose sap has yet to surge -      I need some different climate to emerge.