book 1

Founder of a dynasty...

A lady in green or grey...

accustomed as you were....

Orbiting thoughtless...

Did it please you...

Wanted ...

Holding my pink face...

My eager filial ears...

book 2

Her sweetness and sensitivity...

book 4

  I prance a pretty step in tip-toe dance...  

Sublimely safe in our paired embrace....

I sail the sunlit sea .....

Singled out .....

Our love lay .....

A rudimentary skeletal structure.....

While I sit bemused..... 

With manicured hands....... 

Soft echoes from childhood ...

Should mine be the grim.....

In dreams you woo..... 

Without supposing.....

A holiday destination.....

We climbed into different carriages.....

With the rounded eyes..... 

Unique in the privileged access.....

Sharply rebuked..... 

A ritual parade .....

You spoke.....

You swagger round .....

Issues sit lead-heavy.....

The nerve breaks .......

Like a fine painting .....

You took a crooked line,....

What manner of motivation .....

You play me up.....

I was girding my loins ..

My admiration for the beauty .....

With arms akimbo...

Once I a bumbling fumbler.....

The situation was pre-planned.....

Incautious to a degree......

I squirm .....

There's oddity in ..... 

Above my head .....

With a dreamer's eyes.....

With my thinking mind.....

It's none of my business..... 

Almost like an actor.....

I whisper you hushed secrets.....

Eyeball to eyeball..... 

I wince .....

From a throne of medical status.....

Mine were the duties.....

With feminine wiles.....

I overplayed my hand.....

No longer (methought).....

I wave my arms.....

I took my twelve bore gun.....

You speak as if .....

Her lissom body.....

I flounder in a maze..... 

Flirtatiously radiant .....

There's folly in my stubbornness.....

I nervously conversed, .....

Sensitive, intelligent and fun.....

Strung out

The snatched inspection.....

As I walk the tightrope......

I relish a fantasy video......

As sure as........

Scales which have fluctuated

Like a beggar

Deposited with care

A beautiful bulbous balloon

Obcenely antagonistic

Steeped in traditions

When viewed from another planet

Housed within

My vision zooms

Wearing the same face

My hesitant fingers flinch

While dragging

There's a momentum

We furnished one to the other

A proverbial bargepole prods me

The man with the wizzard's hat

I was floundering

In rejecting the bulk of the values

You make me feel like a

I seek to create a bonding

Far too often

Ill-at-ease in my own thin skin,

I expect a certain decorum

Circles exist,

I was picking fresh footholds

They stand

Bemoaning

Shackled in the chains

A shocking cacophony

I watch the courtship patterns

A boxer in the ring

What I fear happening

You act on a whim

I scald inside

So now at last I've come to understand

Appearing as the owner

My chastity

Like a shattered pitcher,

We communicate

The maintenance of a brave face

I watch your expression,

Erratic as ever

I'd grown accustomed to

A slithering ski slope cheats

I'm not the type who might

I was there in public when

A dusty box for toys in the attic suddenly

Far too readily have I basked

Each in his own language may

I float in the ether's void,

My hands are encumbered with

An easy tranquillity

Within the silent profundity

Like a beast of the sea

My reluctance to sell a painting

With such a delectable example

It boosts my ego to suppose

An aching despair

My arms were laden with gifts

They see it as part of the silver spoon syndrome

The treacle of his vile treachery

She pirouettes

I'm flattered to detect

So much of life is a question

It works to my advantage

How should I seek to comprehend

Peeling veils from miasmic memory

Too many times

We share this flush of instant awareness

Fixed as we are

Like a sluice of iced water

We jostle for our justification

The family forum

You shouldn't conceive me as the son

We traverse surreal terrain

I detest

A peel of celebrative bells  fills the abbey

We share a delightful quasi-secret

The confession crept over me

I'm greeted with a great display

At the pulpit rail with crown on head

With the chauvinistic twinkle

So what's the dream?

With the elder relatives vying

I performed all they could possibly expect

With a nonchalantly insolent eye,

I bleed somewhere inside

There isn't a sacrifice I'd regard too great

n a society where such a vicious mixture

It's silly the way I exhibit a perpetual obsession

Now that the family form is showing wear

I must construct a boat

I hardly dare

Not just a foreigner, but an oddball too

With our lips lushly locked in loving embrace,

Wild, erratic gesticulations have always

I sleep with a fretful dreamer, often beaming

The opportunities for reparation slid

A few confusions unsettle the complex perception

We each perform our own extravagant dance,

Squirming in the squelching mire  

Muffled in the silent mist of ill-discernment

So what manner of monster have I come to invite

Am I really expected to keep my cool,

Looking to contrive a pure unblemished tract

It hurts to be made aware that another man

I've done my stormy stint, stifling mental

Ducking the ponderous responsibilities of an office

I'm thrown in a state of perturbation, and hindered

My chance Parisian encounters are sadly apt

My shoulders are stretched broad like a rocky span

 My nostrils are infested with a filthy obscene stench

 With emotions pent up and screaming on release,

You see her as the monstrous destructor of a dear brother's

A bunch of self-opinionated pedants

 His notion of home was a club for the father's comforts,

Baying at the family table like a pack of hounds

There's a hollow void lurking unexplored

Writhing in orgiastic exhibition

We find ourselves indecently protesting that their jelly

It almost offends me that I who banged the dominant

As if somewhere inside me a tangle of squirming

Could it be I've such a nutter in my bed,

Much as I always esteem her vibrant company,

With auto-suggested psychosomatic symptoms

A knight from his castle turret inspects the horrid

The thought attracts me of taking in love's embrace

Any sense of my family's supportive ethos,

I treasure the availability of intimate discussion

You offer me endless gratitude I don't deserve

It's a grave misfortune to have a family whose concept

You say it's a quality I still need to develop,

Her newly outrageous suggestion of refurbished identity

It galls me to think she could entertain the malevolence

A natural chameleon, you pick the appropriate shade

I'm lost to know where I stand, for I cannot ignore

The misery of moping for an unfulfilled requital

Determined as ever to thrust your poisoned stiletto

A past master of preposterous verbal shenanigans

You seldom seek to set me on view to others

She can only sustain her feeling of inner security

It offends you conceived us so deeply steeped in snobbery

Why, I ask, was it too much to expect

It's sad that you don't accept a reciprocal standard

Suspicions of murderous intent gripe my gut

You flood the grounds with a sea of gawping faces

As a monstrous master of mechanical ineptitude,

The boy who found his life's material treasures

Intrepid in adventure I take the headlong plunge

A rumbling tumble of clouds carpets the sky

Raring to go, but imprisoned in the man's hands

The accustomed means of transport suddenly destroyed

Their ruthless imposition of dictated values,

Two motley gatherings of human kind

The glow of natural leadership shines in our eyes

With drums swinging as heavy as laden testicles

Now the pretences have gone, like bubbles burst,

The vile deliberation in which you strike

The kind of woman who'd like to take me in hand

If the girl I first encountered in a cinema seat

Two freak identities, whirling in space,

Standing in the ship's tender, a sadly solitary

Revelling in the calculated insolence of people

A warm glow known in my inner gut,

I wanted to play in the homes of other children,

We crossed the ocean in the hopes to bear witness

Interval breaks for wine women and song

I wince at the callous infliction of pain, indignity

Emerging from a self-inflicted schooling in tenacity,

Each to his own in pioneering endeavour!

book 9

Your metal hulk is pitifully pitted and bruised

I’m filled with filial admiration at the way

I’ve twisted a gut in former years, striving

The bleak accumulation of clouds in a blackened

Your mean dispiriting abuse rasps like a grated

Inordinate sensitivity to questions of class

Twirling on a dial where electric colours swirl,

I choose myself as the field for my specialist study,

Like a man escaping from a deep sunk boat

I once exulted in the fine physical perfection

Emerging from the same elite nursery schooling

I note with total rectitude the straight

Your fiercest weapon is potential conciliatory embrace

I’ve long learnt to anticipate these grievously

Lost, fretful and abandoned in the grim abyss,

On turning a stone, I watch the creepy-crawlies

I find it demeaning to my prickly macho pride,

Memory of the murky, rushed ejaculations

A midnight coven cavorting naked in a ring,

The knowledge that nearly all who’ve known me well

Observing a meteor on collision course with Earth

Sinking slowly through the soft embrace of a chair,

Aware of a mounting disgust for obese flab,

There must have been, at a distant point in time,

With best intentions to furnish domestic bliss,

Your friendly overtures have to be seen as suspect,

It’s hard, when redefining my set of values,

The choice is fully made, and now it seems

I fear that the psychological core of you

The sheer absurdity in starting to act out

Majestic in my wizard’s cloak and tall hat,

Locked in a crippling grapple of relationship

The little liberated lady may fuck galore -

I stand at the centre of the universal Totality -

I ride an uneasy conscience, selling enough

As the mighty bull in his own home field,

Require me not to wait the postman's knock

A juggler slowly accumulates his stylish

And how shall I interpret your neglect

I wonder if you wake up in the night

So long have you been absent from my bed

The reason for your stubborn loftiness

The golden hues of autumn slowly tinge

I see you on my couch, with legs apart,

It is the rutting season of the year.

Do not the stabbing pains which twist your gut

When I posses you, Jane, I'll have you feel

Torment me not with names of other men,

Where do you amble in your leisure hours,

His pretty pirouetting in romantic dance

The number of years I’ve spent with head locked

You stood as the role model in my earliest years,

Locked in this feudal relationship, I’m cast

I stand in awe as the temple acolyte,

At last I’m given to know that I stand in receipt

The bowing, and the deferential stance they’re taught

Were all the hopes and aspirations attendant

The functionally fit male casts his seed

Ever investigating by eternal analysis

How impotent and grey this London sky

If morning dawns again with dismal hue,

How best can I engage your tender thoughts,

I ventured back to Longleat, Saturday,

How long am I to sit with patient pride,

No longer can it be an oversight

You are more cruel than a frigid breeze

Migrated from her Danish harbour-wall,

Queen of the acid deflationary comment, you risk

Asleep within a rosy memory

Casting our web of fantasy over many eras,

With prickling heat I draw myself up straight

I'm out-manoeuvred: that I must confess.

The days of yearning for your company

Practitioners of culinary art

Without the weapons at his disposition staunchly

No longer I stand as the one to whom she turns

Nobbled by a native naiveté, you sweetly smile

'Tis not for us to see the valued stream

The feel of you entwined around my form

So distant do a hundred miles seem

The nub of true togetherness ditched in a flash,

How isolated can two beings be,

Astride my melancholy shall I go

As if in the morning after a gale was howling,

I did my utmost, leaning over backwards

So finally the distaste that British society feels

You’ve found your corner on the British literary scene,

Your new apparent acceptance that a father’s role

With each of us travelling at his own political pace,

It’s so damn difficult to say I was wrong,

A fanfare from angelic trumpets to the rapid firing

Different avenues are needed for projection of identity:

The trappings of privilege and power are part of the scene

The lack of coming together as a human being

With Britain pondering its future in nationhood crisis,

Making my own mark on the way a room

All the tenets of my childhood’s former persuasion,

book 10

The prospect of a life-long wrangle rumbling

Adrenaline pumps at the sight of a bold gambler

He wants me to dance, obedient to the tug from a puppet’s

The slanderous defamation and abusive shit

My dear Miss Johns, the other day I took

Nothing should ever destroy the vivid impact

The bad breath from a situation past

How to communicate in a world stifled

I was sitting on the harbour-wall, dejected

I was toiling on a coral island in the vast

Little Lord Fauntleroy mounted the spiral

I was dead and about to be mummified,

A rabbit, pursued by a pride of lions,

A cockerel sat on the barn roof

I came upon a forest clearing where the gypsies

A tortoiseshell kitten, almost a cat,

I blunder night time in the darkest thicket of a wood,

So am I becoming the kind of lover a girl

I can’t feel that your tender solicitous attention

He flaunts the view that no one in the world is quite

Brimming with an anger you almost intentionally stirred,

Locked in a pattern of pre-ordained behaviour,

Doctor C

I’m out on a limb where many a secret word

A triptych of insane dispositions

With an instant recognition of lustful intent,

Fearful in my hesitant judgement on precisely what

My new venture as a troubadour of song

If moderation disappears in bitter

We all project in the way we look something

Out of depth and half a mile from shore,

Each on his own idiosyncratic quest

A whole vista of juvenile sexual delights,

Displaying to the first glance an instant image

Within your company there emerges a constant battle

Her eyes brimming with smiling treacherous cunning,

My body is yours to taste and devour at will,

The sexy frolics I never really knew,

The wretched inconvenience in dodging the press

The cutie-pie expression on your face disguises

You wear your sex appeal in overt display,

It comes as a shock to find that I now encounter

Flabbergasted at the sight of her instant presence,

I know that the whole charade is just a sham,

While each of us plan this game from different ends,

I deplore the anger that surges within me as soon

So the words are now written where she states her abrasive

Back to the old tricks you go - the hidden

All that I once perceived is still apparent,

How difficult it is to remain on an even keel,

The very idea of finding myself abused –

There’s ever the danger of explosive reaction, while aware

It’s true that I’ve done my best to earn their trust,

Treasuring suspense in sizzling spectator excitement,

A lingering doubt that no one ever might want

With flawless aplomb, decisions I’m now taking

I purr as loudly as the cat that’s given cream

An internal dynamo, charging itself anew

The opportunity for sexual orgy as the height

In devious style she works for other ends,

Her gestures appear in caricature of ungovernable

If life is going to become a perpetual sequence

Like a product stored, and yet shoved to the back of the shelf,

The fighting flared fiercely by deliberate intent:

I’m spread like a banquet, richly garnished with traditional

In blubbering spasms the tale gets divulged –

The tedium in analyzing continual rifts

She dangles erotic suggestions like the juicy bait

An attrocious impracticality in how you handle

The glimpse of what you sometimes are, or can be,

I’m sorely tried at the way you judge me badly,

I seek a shared zest in the physical fulfilment

Throughout my adult life I’ve seen the way

I know that I’m part of a long dynastic tradition

We must withdraw from the confrontational stance:

I stood for a spell on the brink of trading blows,

I receive with open arms a large variety

Suddenly a new vista for opportunity

From a drab uniformity in masculine garb

Surveying the wide spread of public concerns

Resisting all fundamental change,

The vision of family life is a non-starter

You exercise an astute perception of how

At the height of its season a flower emerges in bloom.

They come bible in hand, with the beady eye

The rules are what I decreed from the very start

I cannot be sure of the game she’s choosing to play,

Never to be completely forgotten, we treasure

I perceive now how the Anglo-Saxon ideal

Adding together the good, the bad and indifferent,

I’m hoping that soon we’ll rediscover a way

Withdrawing to a private world (inside/aside),

The very idea of building up a team

A crippling uncertainty hampers my feet when I’ve tried

In the past the concept of the English gentleman

My mind on a blank screen, with all bias

It’s a situation that’s never occurred before,

I now encounter smiling faces who are pleased

I’m rumbling into middle age without a wife,

A whole peepshow of flagrantly libertine practices,

Averse to the whole concept of clipped wings,

In all the shifting codes of marital intent,

From a freshly opened vent I savour the momentary

As a man who walks sandwiched between two

Whilst liking to throw the cat amongst the pigeons,

Of course I’m hoping that the next in line to succeed

Far more than the possibility she was led

Face to face with an old flame, an assortment

How glorious that she lies in bed between the two of us:

I’m doing my utmost to acquire the spirit of tolerance

Why should it stick in my gullet to lavish gifts?

I feel concerned for her welfare, knowing that my role

Talk of the big jump had long prevailed,

The deed is done, and my bachelor days are ended!

When formerly the desire came to invite a girl

On a regular basis, and under the pretext of daring

Too readily slipping behind a mask

I don’t enjoy the sight of a kindly brother

Is the world emerging as too deep a quagmire

I’m none too happy with the glimpses I’ve noted of a girl

It wasn’t apparent at the start, but the time has come

It pisses me off the way he postures on a point

The drift is clear. You want to clip my wings

I cannot begin to disrupt the continued creation

There’s a visceral squirm of horror and a shiver of disgust,

What got omitted from my carnal education?

His appalling insensitivity to a son’s potential

Having floundered in anger to find my fumbling feet,

At a time when our hearts are still in the process of grappling

In a world that doesn’t know the direction it’s taking,

book 11

I’m irked by the lack of empathy you always display,

While thinking of all that you choose to say or do,

On an insubstantial podium of pink floss,

I look with open eyes and a wide smile,

The cute little girl who fluttered her eyes

The very idea of turning down the proffered

Where once I heavily depended on a permanent aura

Reluctant to think the unthinkable, I seek an easier

It seemed like a one off chance to fit together

The slick and slyly flattering art historian

Being the one whose pockets are lined with gold,

There are some